• Dad I’m hungry’ … ‘Hi hungry I’m dad
• Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’
• I've been trying to come up with a dad joke about momentum . . . but I just can't seem to get it going.
• Where’s the bin? Dad: I haven’t been anywhere!
• What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice? A Popsicle.
• "Dad, I'm cold." "Go stand in the corner, I hear it's 90 degrees."
• Child: Dad, make me a sandwich. Dad: Poof! You're a sandwich.
• I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
• "I'll call you later." Don't call me later, call me Dad.
• Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

Source code only available at GitHub